My friend Andre sent me these "laws" and I found them pretty hilarious. Enjoy!!!!
The Ultimate Law:
All general statements are false.
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone is always at home.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of Seating:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.
Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the rug/carpet.
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are. (Could this be called "The Law of Personal Ubiquity"?)
The Whispered Rule:
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
Lynch's Law:
When the going gets tough, everybody leaves.
Boren's First Law:
When in doubt, mumble.
Carlson's Consolation:
Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example.
Ducharme's Precept:
Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
Perkin's Postulate:
The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
Harrison's Postulate:
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Allen's Law:
Almost anythin
posted by K8y at 3:05 PM
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